My remembrance of Ped

I submitted a guest op-ed to the Star Tribune last week after reading Gail Rosenblum's column in which she defended the Senser family's legal stonewalling. The Star Tribune never responded to my submission, so I am publishing it here in my blog.

— — —

Anousone "Ped" Phanthavong was a dear friend and valued coworker of mine. We opened our restaurant, True Thai, in 2002, and Ped was the only person still working for us who was on our original staff. The State Troopers woke me at 3:45 a.m. because I was the pre-registered owner of Ped's car. My partner slept through the Troopers knocking on our door, but awoke immediately upon hearing my cries of anguish at hearing that Ped had been killed.

The next day I saw the place where Ped had pulled his car off the ramp and onto the grass. I saw bloodstains from his body being dragged forty feet by the Mercedes SUV that hit him. Later I talked to the partner of one of our hostesses who had taken that exit shortly after Ped was killed. His shoes and pants had been ripped off by the pavement as he was dragged up the ramp, leaving him clad only in his white t-shirt and underwear on the pavement where he was left for dead, only three-quarters of a block from Riverside Hospital's Emergency Room.

Over three-hundred people jammed into the funeral home for Ped's funeral. Everyone wore white, the Buddhist color of mourning. It took four cars to bring all the floral arrangements to the funeral home. All white because that was Ped's favorite color. He always wore white t-shirts. Even on a moonless night it would be difficult not to see Ped on a well lit freeway exit ramp.

The day after Ped died the State Troopers told us he was hit by a Mercedes SUV. They told the news media and shortly after that the Senser family's attorney contacted the State Troopers. It would be another nine agonizing days before the Senser family told the Troopers that Amy Senser was driving that night. That did not stop the rumors.

Since Amy Senser came forward, many people have passed rumors on to me and our employees. A daughter was driving, the rumors say. Are the rumors true? We do not know. All we know is what the Sensers have told the State Troopers, and that is not much. So little that a State Trooper advised Ped's brother that the family should get a high-powered attorney. The Trooper perhaps should not have said that, and he didn't say why the family needed an attorney, but by then it was obvious that the Sensers were not going to send the Phanthavongs so much as a sympathy card, let alone meet with them to discuss what happened that night.

Joe Senser is a sports broadcaster now, and has many friends in the media. Since the accident WCCO's Esme Murphy posted about the accident at her blog. She said that she could not defend a hit and run, but then spent the rest of her post defending the Sensers' right to a fair trial. Almost immediately an anonymous commenter posted Ped's arrest record in the comments. That comment was not removed, and it was a shameful thing for the Phanthavong family to see. Yes, Ped had some run-ins with the law. Many refugees from war-torn countries do. It takes a while for young men to understand that while fighting helped them to stay alive in Laos, you do not need to fight to survive in the United States. Ped ended up spending some time in the Ramsey County workhouse, but we picked him up and took him to work each day. Not just because we liked Ped, but because he was, from his first day at True Thai, our best cook.

After Ped was reunited with his family, he spent every day helping his mother cook, and she taught him well. As True Thai won award after award after award for our dishes, Ped grew more confident in his abilities and cleaned up his life. He had been sober for almost three years but he did not trust himself. Almost his entire paycheck would go to his parents. Ped never carried over $20 cash because he was afraid he would weaken and spend that money on bad things. Ped knew his limitations and still managed to overcome them. Exactly one month before he was struck and killed on that off ramp, U2's tour manager stood in our kitchen and watched Ped cook Bono's pre-concert meal. She was so pleased she referred Sade's tour manager to us. Sade's tour manager told us she would refer all her tour management friends to us. None of these bands ever saw our restaurant, but they ordered from us because of Ped's cooking.

But Ped was not a celebrity. Esme Murphy is not the only Twin Cities media personality to defend the Sensers. The Star Tribune's Gail Rosenblum also wrote about the Sensers. Yes, she mentioned Ped, but like all the other local media she just repeated what I had written about him in my blog. Until they held a press conference two weeks after Ped's death, not one Minnesota news person bothered to interview Ped's family. My day job is as a public health nurse for Ramsey County. If the local news media cannot find Lao-English interpreters, I can refer the media to dozens of them.

But I do not think the local news media cares about Ped's side of the story. Gail Rosenblum's column does not allow people to leave comments. You can leave a comment at Bob Collin's MPR News Cut blog, but if you defend Ped, he will argue with you in the comments.

That is OK. Joe Senser is a media guy, and you stand up for your own. But maybe the media should read my eulogy for Ped that was read at his funeral:

Ped is my brother and my best friend. When I was mugged last summer, Ped was the first person to show up to comfort and reassure me. Ped often stopped by the restaurant on his days off to make sure everything was OK. After my mugging, he would come around to check on me to make sure I was OK. I give some of our employees a ride home after work. After the mugging, Ped began stopping by on his nights off to give his coworkers a ride home so I could get a little more sleep. 

Ped helped me to keep my feet on the ground, and gave me guidance when I wasn't sure what I should do. More than even me, he cared so much about True Thai and all of us who worked there but Ped loved everyone, not just his friends. Once he made me park my car so he could help a stranded motorist change her tire. When a panhandler would ask Ped for money, Ped would tell them to wait and then would run and cook them a meal. 

Each night when I go to True Thai, I go into the kitchen because seeing Ped in his white t-shirt gives me comfort and lets me know everything is running the way it should. I will never see Ped in our kitchen again, but this week I have seen him many times. I will be working up front and I look up and there he is, smiling in that slightly sad, boyish way we all knew so well. His spirit is with us still at True Thai, guiding us, telling us everything is alright. 

Ped, when I think of you, the one thing I always think of is your kindness and generosity, which were written all over your face. Such a kind person. Others always came first. You would feed your coworkers first, then you would eat. You always put others before you. 

Ped once told me, "Anna, I know I am going to die before you do." Ped, I am so sorry you were right. I will remember you the rest of my life. You were the soul of True Thai. You are the soul of True Thai. You will always be the soul of True Thai. Thank you for always being there for us.

Ped's family and friends and I all miss him very much. Only the Senser family knows for sure what happened that night, and they are not talking. Not to us, not to the family's attorney, not to anyone. But they do have friends in the media. At the press conference a reporter asked me something about "why the family is just after the money?" I was so shocked I could not answer him. The Phanthavongs did not "lawyer up" until after a Trooper suggested they should, and well after the Sensers had decided to speak only through their attorney. No one in the media is trying to find out what happened. It has been decided that the lawyers will do all the talking and that this might take years to be resolved.

Well, I am talking. And I will keep talking about this because I miss my friend Ped, and I am angry that the woman who admitted to driving the Mercedes SUV that dragged him forty feet up an off-ramp still has her drivers license, and is still free to go about living her life. The media can feel sorry for her all they like, but some day the Phanthavongs will have their day in court and I will be there every day to see that they receive the justice they deserve. But that day will not come soon. Until then Ped's nephew and two of his nieces will be working at True Thai, bussing tables and waiting on customers so that their grandparents will not be cast out into the street while waiting and waiting and waiting for the trial of the woman who ran over their son.

Anna Prasomphol Fieser is co-owner of True Thai Restaurant where Anousone "Ped" Phanthavong worked as head cook.

In remembrance of an outstanding employee

[This was read at Anousone's funeral]

When I was 18, I spent six of the worst years of my life in Southeast Asia. I was a Hospital Corpsman in the U.S. Navy. That was long before Anousone Phanthavong was born, but the bitter aftermath of the war I was in was still being settled in Laos when Anousone was growing up. Seeing what I saw when I was only 18 has haunted me all my life. Sometimes, after talking to Ped, I would realize that he saw many of those same things when he was barely able to walk, and that the violence of war was part of his life growing up in Laos.

War makes people hard, and it is easy to lose your compassion. Ped was not a hard man. He was compassionate and filled with empathy for others. But, again, war makes people hard, and Ped ran with a hard crowd for a while. Usually, that's the end of the story but those stories don't end in a crowded funeral chapel filled with over 300 family and friends.

Ped turned around his life, overcame the obstacles fate placed in his path, and became all that he could be. Yes, he cooked a meal for Bono, but he also cooked meals for many famous people (Brad Pitt, the Coen Brothers, Sade, etc.). Mostly he cooked for people who loved the way he cooked, and came back night after night to try new dishes made special by Ped's unique talents.

The measure of Anousone Phanthavong is not just what he accomplished, as significant as those things were. The true measure of Anousone Phanthavong is that he overcame so much, and yet still managed to accomplish so much more.

[posted by Charles Whitney Jr, co-owner, True Thai Restaurant]

In remembrance of our coworker

Ped was the kindest person any of us had ever met. He was filled with compassion for others.

When he came in he would cook for his coworkers. He would never cook for himself until everyone else was eating. Ped hated to eat alone, and he loved to make other people happy with his cooking. Ped would even come into the restaurant on his days off to cook just for the employees.

When Ped got mad, he would never be mad for longer than one minute. He was a gentle, caring, compassionate person, and everyone loved working with him.

Ped called all of the women at True Thai "sister." But all of us, male and female, looked up to Ped as our big brother. Because of Ped, working at True Thai was liking being part of a big family. Ped was our role model and, for some of us, he was our hero.

We will miss you Ped.

We will always miss you, big brother.

[posted by "Golf"]

Closed Labor Day

True Thai Restaurant will be closed all day Monday, September 5, in honor of Labor Day.

True Thai honors and respects our employees who are our most valuable resource.

True Thai Restaurant will be open again on September 6th. Please accept our wishes for a safe and enjoyable holiday weekend.

Thank you all so much!

So many things to thank so many people for:

• cash donations to Ped's family
• gifts of flowers (all white!)
• everyone who wore white to the funeral
• all those who put a $20 bill in the casket (for gas money)
• the standing room only crowd at the funeral home
• everyone who came to True Thai afterwords to console the family

I was so busy I didn't even have time to think about how we were going to replace Ped, so he sent us a replacement. Three of them, in fact! Word has gotten out that True Thai treats our employees like family, and there are a lot of cooks in town who would like to be loved.

Last Saturday night I was exhausted and thought I had seen it all. Then Sunday night, the day after Ped's funeral, the restaurant was packed with people who came to express their sympathy. I was too tired to panic but as the evening progressed I realized the new cook was working just as fast as Ped, and that she had already learned all our recipes. I think maybe Ped was whispering in her ear because it does not seem possible that anyone could do so well their first night on the job.

I was not sure how True Thai would survive without Ped, but the truth is he is still with us, watching over us. There is no other explanation how we could have served so many people Sunday night with an emotionally exhausted staff and owners.

Ped is still watching out for his family and friends, and we are all still deeply grieved by his passing. If you would like to make a donation to his family, you can mail or drop it off at True Thai Restaurant. Our mailing address is:

True Thai Restaurant
Ped's Memorial Fund
2627 E. Franklin Avenue
Minneapolis, MN 55406

Checks should be made out to "True Thai c/o Memorial Fund."

The Mercedes the Highway Patrol was looking for has been found and they have identified the driver. There have been no charges as of yet. Ped was the primary breadwinner for his elderly parents, and any donation would be greatly appreciated.

What the State Troopers know

KARE-11 linked to Lt. Eric Roeske's Twitter page. Here are the latest updates:

And here is a more recent picture we found of Anousone.

Anousone, we miss you so much.

Remembering "Ped"

To everyone at True Thai, Anousone Phanthavong was Ped. That is a Lao nickname, and the "p" is pronounced more like a "b." He was devoted to the restaurant and much of his income went to support his elderly parents.

It was just a couple of weeks ago that U2's tour manager came to True Thai to see if we could feed the band and their road company, but there was one condition: Bono insisted that his food be prepared by the owner! I can cook, but I do not do the cooking for True Thai so Ped worked closely with me as we fixed Bono's meal. OK, the truth is Ped cooked Bono's meal and I tried to help as best I could.

As usual, Ped did a wonderful job and the band was very happy. Ped was proud of his cooking and we had many knowledgable customers who would ask if he was working whenever they came in. Ped developed many of newer items on our menu, including X, Y, and Z.

But mostly, I think he should be remembered as a good employee and a good son, a man who cooked for rock stars and who helped introduce thousands of Minnesotans to authentic Thai cuisine. Not bad for a kid who grew up on his own in Laos, somehow managing to make it to the United States to be with his family and his new friends.

True Thai Restaurant will be closed on Saturday from 11 am until 4 pm in honor of Anousone "Ped" Phanthavong's funeral services which will be held Washburn McReavy funeral home at 3816 Penn Avenue North, this Saturday at noon. Afterwards, Ped's friends and family will gather at the restaurant, which will re-open to the general public at 4 pm.

Anousone Phanthavong, 1972-2011

After the restaurant closed Tuesday night, our head cook, Anousone Phanthavong, was killed in a hit and run accident less than a mile from the restaurant.

KARE11:

The accident happened on the westbound ramp from Interstate 94 to the Riverside Avenue just after 11 p.m. 

The State Patrol says the victim, a 38-year-old man from Roseville, was filling up his car with gas on the shoulder of the ramp when he was struck. 

The unidentified motorist that struck him then fled the scene. 

There was construction in the area but authorities do not know whether that played a role in this accident. 

Anyone who may know anything about this fatal hit-and-run is asked to call the State Patrol.

Anousone was an inspired chef and a very hard worker who had lived a very difficult life. He was separated from his parents while growing up in Laos during the years of terrible unrest that followed the Vietnam War. He was reunited with his parents in this country, and is survived by both his mother and father, three sisters and a brother.

Over the years I became very close to Anousone. To me, he was the soul of True Thai, the one person I could always depend on to put quality first. Because he died so close to our restaurant, I know that his spirit will be watching over us just as he watched over our kitchen these last nine years.


True Thai would not have become True Thai without Anousone Phanthavong. He was one of our first hires and our most senior employee, starting work in November 2002, shortly after we opened our doors. In the following months the Star Tribune's Jeremy Iggers honored us for having the "Best Soup" while Minneapolis-St. Paul Magazine named us one of the "50 Best Restaurants in Minnesota." These were just two of the countless accolades True Thai won because of Anousone's diligence and exceptional commitment to quality.

Anousone overcame many difficulties and challenges in his life. He was strengthened and comforted by his Theravada Buddhist beliefs. I am proud to say he was my friend, and I am terribly saddened by his passing. Anousone Phanthavong, rest in peace.

[see this post for information about the funeral arrangements]

Cholesterol on a stick

It happens to all of us, but it still comes as a surprise when we look in the mirror one morning and realize, "hey — I'm getting old!" For me that moment came when I began to write this post about the Minnesota State Fair and suddenly realized that this year will mark my twentieth visit to the Midway.

I know I should have used an exclamation point but believe me, this year I am not that excited. Deep-fried butter on a stick? Lard only knows what's next. The Star Tribune says that the Ellsworth Cooperative Creamery is delivering 60 tons of cheese curds to the Fair this year for deep frying. Compared to butter on a stick, are deep-fried cheese curds the new tofu?

Here is a list of this year's new state fair foods on a stick:

• Chocolate-covered jalapenos
• The Breakfast Lollipop (sausage dipped in corn muffin batter with a side of maple syrup
• Northwoods salad (mozzarella, basil and grape tomatoes drizzled with salad dressing)
• Pizza kabobs
• Pretzel dogs
• White Razzie Puppies (white chocolate wrapped in Belgian waffles with caramel bacon topping)
• Teriyaki chicken

The truth is I was thinking of making up something ridiculous to add to that list, but I could not think of anything more bizarre than what they're already serving. I did try to find a picture of white razzie puppies, but instead of food, Google gave me pictures of little dogs, Sandra Bullock and Salma Hayek. (Sometimes I think Google is weird on purpose.)

As a restauranteur, I feel obliged to try some of these local delicacies, but as public health nurse I think I should picket the Fair and hand out fresh apples and oranges to people as they go in. I do not think I would find many takers. State Fair goers know what they want, and that they want it on a stick. Maybe one of these years we'll get a Glaxo booth where they can sell deep-fried statins on a stick!

Here are some related posts I have written about State Fair food:

• Squid Eggs on a Stick!
• Corn, but not on the cob or on a stick
• Street food

In closing, I swiped this chart of some Asian-style food on a stick from "MissionControl":

Yes, I know. These are all way too healthy for the Minnesota State Fair. (sigh)

See you on the Midway!

Fake true Thai

I do not get angry very often so before I explain why I'm mad at Trader Joe's "True Thai Tom Yam Soup," I should probably say something about why I named my dining establishment True Thai Restaurant. In Thailand, people say "true Thai" like an American would say "made in America." To be "true Thai," you must be true to everything that is Thailand. That is not an easy thing to do.

What is Thailand? Thailand is the biggest, most fertile agricultural exporter in Asia (not counting India, China or Japan and yes, Burma is bigger but mountains don't count and Indonesia is also bigger but it's broken up into all those islands). There are 64 million Thai. A quarter of the people in Thailand are not entirely Thai. Most of those are ethnically Chinese, a few (like me) ethnically Vietnamese, or Lao or Cambodian, and the rest are members of hill tribes, much like the Hmong before they came to the U.S. But the influence of Thai culture on everyone who lives in Thailand is enormous.

People have lived in Thailand for 40,000 years! Modern day Thailand emerged from the ancient Khmer Kingdom in the 1200s. Thailand is unique among Asian countries in that it was never colonized by the West. Japanese cooking is influenced by the Portuguese. Indian cuisine was subject to British preferences as are some Chinese dishes. Europe changed everything about Asia except Thailand, so when someone says something is true Thai, that means something.

So, about this so-called "True Thai Tom Yam" Trader Joe's is peddling. [I am sitting here tapping my foot as I write this post because I am not amused.] Read the label! True Thai cooking does not include wheat flour as the second most used ingredient! (Water is Trader Joe's primary ingredient.) Thais do not cook with wheat, wheat flour or wheat anything! We are a rice-based culture. We make our bread from rice, our pastry from rice and if it goes into an oven, it probably has rice in it. Thailand grows rice! Thailand does not grow wheat!

I will be fair. The rest of the ingredients (spinach excepted) are very similar to what True Thai Restaurant puts in our Tom Yum soup. Trader Joe is missing some key ingredients and I have my doubts about the quality of some of their spices, but I cannot forgive them for putting wheat in their so-called Tom Yam. Americans with Celiac disease know that Thai restaurants are safe to eat at (watch out for soy sauce but otherwise we're gluten-free). Trader Joe's Tom Yam is not gluten-free, and, frankly, it's not Tom Yum — it's just another rip-off fake Thai food from a German company doing business in the U.S.

True Thai Restaurant works very hard at using only authentic Thai ingredients in our dishes. ข้าวสาลี (wheat) is not an ingredient you see on Thai labels. Wheat is an ingredient you see on Trader Joe labels and I do not think they have any right to call anything they sell true Thai.

OK, I am less mad now but that is partly because I've been listening to music today and it's hard to be mad when you're listening to Sade.

We get referrals

OK, even if dozens of you hadn't stopped by the cash register to tell me who U2 was, I think I would have figured it out. Tonight we're catering another concert because U2 referred them to us! And yes, I have heard of Sade and I have been known to sing along when Smooth Operator comes on the radio.

The show is at the Target Center and John Legend is opening, but I don't think we're feeding him. There may still be tickets available ($50-150 each!).

I can't make the show, but I am definitely going to buy a copy of Sade's The Ultimate Collection!

We get catering jobs

I have to admit that I am not a big fan of rock music. We had a very busy Saturday afternoon because we got a big, big order to prepare food for some band playing at the University of Minnesota's new football stadium tonight.

Is it weird that I don't know who U2 is? Are they bigger than Celine Dion?

This is probably why no one comes to True Thai for the music but that's OK because no one goes to rock concerts for the food.